Difficult people are everywhere. They may be hostile customers, unprofessional coworkers, unsupportive supervisors or simply annoying and oversensitive friends or family; but, we all have to deal with them at times.  

In his book Coping with Difficult People, Robert M. Bramson, PhD, groups difficult people into the following categories:  

Hostile-Aggressives bully and overwhelm others with cutting remarks or tantrums when they don’t get their way.

Complainers gripe constantly, but never do anything about their grievances because they feel powerless or they refuse to take responsibility.

Silent, unresponsive people respond to every question and plea for help with a “yep,” “no,” or a “grunt” making it difficult to know where they stand.

Super-Agreeables are personable, funny, and outgoing but not always genuine. They’re sincere and supportive when they’re around you, but may not follow through with promised actions when you’re gone.

Negativists answer any proposal with “It won’t work” or “It’s impossible,” deflating others’ optimism.

Know-It-All Experts are the “superior” people who believe that they know everything there is to know about anything worth knowing and want you to recognize it too! They’re condescending, imposing and pompous.

Indecisives stall major decisions until someone else decides for them. They’re perfectionists and can’t tolerate unfinished projects.

They may not do it consciously, but difficult people manage to gain control over others through their behavior. However, you can readjust the balance of power and minimize their impact if you …  

• Assess the situation. Determine whether you are dealing with a chronically difficult person or whether a bad situation is temporarily bringing out the worst in an ordinarily amiable person.  

• Stop wishing the difficult person was different. Unrealistic hopes quickly become resentment; you can’t change other people.  

• Get some distance between you and the difficult person. Try to detach yourself from the situation enough to gain a better perspective on what’s causing the problem behavior.  

• Formulate a plan. Interrupt the difficult interaction by changing your part of it. Changing how you react to difficult people gives them a chance to take a different role.  

• Implement your plan whether the time is right. For example, if you pick a time when your boss is busy and under a lot of stress, your plan may backfire.  

Coping with difficult people is not easy, but with  

• an understanding of your own feelings  

• a vision of success, and  

• persistence  

you can have better relations with them.